Monday, September 01, 2003

the lass reminisces at 12:30:00 AM [comment]

she is falling low.find her escape.

yet. another inspirational story ;p

Bringing a giraffe into the world is a tall order. A baby giraffe falls 10
feet from its mother's womb and usually lands on its back. Within seconds
it rolls over and tucks its legs under its body. From this position it
considers the world for the first time and shakes off the last vestiges of
the birthing fluid from its eyes and ears. Then the mother giraffe rudely
introduces its offspring to the reality of life.

In his book, A View from the Zoo, Gary Richmond describes how a newborn
giraffe learns its first lesson. The mother giraffe lowers her head long
enough to take a quick look. Then she positions herself directly over her
calf. She waits for about a minute, and then she does the most
unreasonable thing. She swings her long, pendulous leg outward and kicks her baby, so
that it is sent sprawling head over heels.
When it doesn't get up, the violent process is repeated over and over again.
The struggle to rise is momentous. As the baby calf grows tired, the mother
kicks it again to stimulate its efforts. Finally, the calf stands for the
first time on its wobbly legs. Then the mother giraffe does the most
remarkable thing. She kicks it off its feet again. Why? She wants it to
remember how it got up. In the wild, baby giraffes must be able to get up
as quickly as possible to stay with the herd, where there is safety. Lions,
hyenas, leopards, and wild hunting dogs all enjoy young giraffes, and
they'd get it too, if the mother didn't teach her calf to get up quickly and get with it.

The late Irving Stone understood this. He spent a lifetime studying
greatness, writing novelized biographies of such men as Michelangelo,
Vincent van Gogh, Sigmund Freud, and Charles Darwin. Stone was once asked if
he had found a thread that runs through the lives of all these exceptional
people. He said, "I write about people who sometime in their life have a
vision or dream of something that should be accomplished and they go to work.

"They are beaten over the head, knocked down, vilified, and for years they
get nowhere. But every time they're knocked down they stand up. You cannot
destroy these people. And at the end of their lives they've accomplished
some modest part of what they set out to do."


the lass reminisces at 12:28:00 AM [comment]

she is falling low.find her escape.

Sunday, August 31, 2003

from my perception



so much's happened over the weekend. i dunno where to start.
jeez, and there's so much to tell but not convenient to be said here.

met joyce on sat.
we went to suntec and get ourselves some nice clothes, afterall its been some time since ive REALLY spent on something.
it was time for some self-pampering, especially since im going through a hard time myself now.
yep. im crazy when i decide to shop.
i splurge my money as if there was a singapore sale going on. heh.
im either spending too much money than i should on shopping when im upset, or ill be stuffing myself out silly with food.
both are unhealthy. ive been counselled bout this...
but i cant stop it. not that i want to, anyway i feel better after doing it.
i used to be very violent when i was upset. i would break plates and glasses... till one point my mom had to change our set of cultery to plastic ones instead.
i tried splashing paint all over a big piece of cloth before. it did console me a little, but not for long.
so instead of venting my anger on objects around me, i torture myself.
yea, it makes me feel better buying new clothes and binging, but i know i dont feel good about it at all.
im just deceiving myself. what i really needed was to cry out loud.... and not bother how people would see me as.
but i can never do tt...

i spent 100 bucks on 2 tops from mango. they're really pretty.
the white one's 60 bucks and e green one, 40.




heh. simply love them.
joyce likes the white one too. heh. she says it makes me look like a princess because of the rims around the collar.
lol. nicole was funny. she was tellin me no one wears clothes they bought immediately. lol. well, there is one, and tts me ;p

joyce couldnt find e jacket she wanted from topshop. sigh. dont worry babes.
maybe god planned it like tt, so ull be able to get a much prettier jacket and cheaper ones too.
i know how u feel. this was once i wanted to get this tube black dress from topshop.
it was simply ENTICING. by the time i managed to save up enough, i was told there were no more stock.
jeez. i felt so empty, like my world just crushed. lol. i was like 'fuck, fuck, fuck'. u feel so fustrasted u feel like shouting. heh.
but anyways i got myself a few nice tops with e money i could get for only 1 dress. jeez.
see how much god loves u joyce ;p heh..
and yes, u finally got e levis skirt! yummy, u look so sweet and sexy in it.heh -catcalls-

later we headed to town. trav was there too. he called. wanted to meet me.
dropped by starbucks to see him. it was good seeing him after so long. i really missed him.
i was missing out on so much in his life. he said he went to make himself a better person during his MIA period.
hah. its sounds corny. but he does seem a little unfamiliar to me now..
joyce and i went to yoshinoya. gosh i was soo hungry.
yes yes, nicole's and ur 'threatre' joke. lol
travis wanted to give me a lift to SSC for my training.
had a free ride, so why not?
i was expectin him to ride his bike, but lil did expect he bought a car...



a nice and EXPENSIVE one at that. -jealous-
140k!!! jeez, imagine e amount of clothes i could buy w tt! -daydreams-
hehe, i feel like a superstar sitting in it. hah, corny.

apparently i was late for my training. yep for half hour. blame it on trav. doinkz.
doing stupid things in the car. can u believe he was actually signalling stupid things to his friend who was driving the car behind him?
jeez.
ironically, mommy likes travis too. and treats him like a godson!
shit. my mom asked him if he wanted beer!! urgh...
then he was like, erm, no need auntie. -of course he was lying-
but anyways i got a jug of beer for them. tts for thanking him for sending me.
my mom allows me to drink only on special rationalization. hah. and its not fair.
when i finished my lesson. he was still around in the club.
he was waiting for me to end up my lesson, and asked my mom if he could bring me out. my mom agreed.
told me he was going clubbin and wanted me to come along.
of course i was tempted, he was gonna pay for me anyway. and free transport. heh.
i cancelled my date with raihan. yea. i know that was really mean. but he was cool w it.

got changed and stuff. thank god i went shopping or id have to go home to get clothes to change.
hah. picked up a couple of his friends. then we headed to N.B (newsroom bar)
its really big inside. yea. my eldest brother frequents that club.
the drinks were strong too ;p not like hendrix..lol
met angie, mahendran and anna. didnt think she'd remember me anyway. ;p
they were going to Wu, as usual. and i like ur top angie, so nice *wink*

had this bond feeling again. like in the past.
me and my buddy, trav. crapping away. not bothering bout what ppl thought of us.
it was really nice. i really wanted us to be close again, good buddies.like old times.
but still, something i thought he would get over, wasnt as yet. (some of u know about this.)
anyways, i felt very comfortable with his company.
u know, that secure feeling, that tells u no one is gonna hurt u, coz ur pillar of support is there to protect u.
yea. travis was my pillar of support. ive known for yrs.. we've tolerated each others' nonsense for yrs.
and our friendship is still as fresh like 1 or 2 yrs ago ;p

headed home about 2. travis had to go church the next morning.

woke up w a bad head the next morning. well, been havin this for days.
jeez. the feeling really sucks.
he looked like a father. he was dressed so formally..lol.
he looked 28..lol. funny funny.
came by my place. my mom was out already. spent the morning dressing her up for this functinon thingy she had.
lol. she looked so sweet and pretty, like when she was young. ;p
got ready and stuff. then headed to town.
had lunch. caught a movie- S.W.A.T.
wasnt really that nice. didnt expect it to be some hot show anyway.
unlike Gone in 60 seconds! boy i love that show... exciting.
met gracie after tt. she had finished her training. she looked really tired though.

shoutout to my dearest Graciedeedum. dont sad sad k. Over him and the match. losing the match means that u guys have not worked hard enough, but that definitely doesnt mean you dont have the ability. i believe in u. next time round, u'll kick those NUS bugger's asses. aiight. ;p lol. as for him, maybe u need to give urself and him some breathing space. it may be hard being far away from each other. u miss him so bad and maybe that's why u might be venting ur anger on him, without knowing it urself. but since its already 2 months, im sure u can pull it through. ill be here. at least u were able to come this far, 2 months.. think about it. u did better than HER. much better. -smoochers and smuackers-

headed to Holland V. sat down and chatted. and then had dinner. lol.
haha. trav and i are like twins. jeez, we eat the same thing, think the same stuff.. doinkz.
nicole joined us. walked a round for away.
went to starbucks. saw this guy nicole and gracie tought was cute.
well, he wasnt that bad. but he looked those kinda cute guys who look good as gals too. yea. tt kind.
hah. nicole, though i didnt catch his front view...i still have his backview on my cam. lol.
gracie, u ah. doughnut big like a rectum. lol that was sick.
like always, gracie and i were showering each other with our love...
which practically freaked out travis.
time to go home.. travis dropped gracie at her place. when she got down.. trav asked me this silly question.
how can gracie live in this place? this indian and bangla-infested place. so dangerous for a girl.
then i was saying, especially when she goes clubbing.. scary.
but nvm. gracie if u do meet such situtations, just act like a bapok. can already.
even e pontianaks are scared of them, there's no reason why e indians and banglas arent.

had some small tribualtion going on. trav and i. jeez. headache. but its all cleared up now.yep.

today's teacher's day. hah. another day. no shit, free time 4 days in a row.
gonna go bugis with nicole and gracie. more shopping. ;p
travis might be coming along. how can i leave my buddy outta this?
he'll enjoy carryign our shopping bags, and being entertainment of the day.
i need his transport anyway. heh

people tell me to beware of him whenever im out with travis. even my buddies, gracie and angie.
i dun understand why they would say that? i understand if they are concerned for me.
im sure he wouldnt eat me up. jeez.
ive known him for years. inside out. outside in. even his mom and uncle is on good terms w me.
he knows all my family problems. even the guy my mom is 'dating'.
my mom even allows him to come over my place in the middle of the night.
if my mom can trust me to lock the room door w both of us inside, why cant i?
seriously, my mom likes him a lot. jeez. she trusts travis more than justin.
and her impression of justin wasnt very good either.

raihan, justin and travis. somehow these three lives' will always resolve around mine.
its really complicating and i havent been keeping track how all this came to sucha conclusion.
jeez, they are a big headache to me ;p

everytime i check my phone,there are no messages from u.
everytime someone called i thought it was you.
looking through the messages you sent me,
all i could was keep the sweet memories of us.
i cry myself to sleep at night. no one knew, neither did u.
in my dreams only lie images of u that are long gone.
if only things did not turn out this way, id still be urs.
still very much confused about everything.
i dont want to let u go, but the pain is too much.
tell me what else can i do besides see ur shadow move further
away away from me, then disappear into thin air.

P/S: does anyone know of a good host where i can put up my pics? currently using msn group and webshots. pls email me if u do. thanx ;p

Shoutout to halim: when people only judged me and gave me negative comments, there u were. my support of pillar. right or wrong, u still encouraged me. u wanted me to be happy. told me to do what my heart told me to, not what i got from those free advices. whenever i was upset, u will always try ur best to comfort me, listen to me. i have to thank cammie for introducing u to me, if not i'd never known a nice person ;p and i probably wouldnt be happy. because without ur advice, i would have followed my head instead of my heart. thank u... ;p

gracie: ure a dear friend. i really cant express how much u mean to me in words. through hard times, our friendship grew stronger. and it will grow stronger. i believe we will become grandfriends ;p sometimes i dont know what to say when ure upset, but trust me, im feeling u. love ya sweety ;p

nicole: well, what can i say bout u? I LOVE U ;p yep. for so many reasons in the world. though u are younger than me, u have a matured mind. maybe too matured that sometimes too many problems arise. take it slow babe aiight. thanx for all ur console and concern these times. ure such a sweetheart. people may judge u, tts coz they hardly know u. so, dont bother what others say. ur real friends would never judge u ;p

joyce: we seem to have a much a closer bond now. having gone out this week together and stuff. u were so cute the first time i met u, and u still are, just cuter! though we dont talk much, u were still there to provide a listening ear. i appreciate that a lot. u r like a mentor to me. ur advice makes sense, and it doesnt make me feel pressured unlike some of my friends. u make my life sound simple when i thought it was so complicated. thanx for being sucha sweety ;p

the lass reminisces at 7:48:00 PM [comment]

she is falling low.find her escape.