Friday, July 25, 2003

u changed.or maybe i thot wrong.

came to my senses. not everyone remains the same.
time passes, people change into another person too.
u guys are no longer e same as from what i portrayed u in my memory.
its hard. difficult for me to accept e PRESENT u.
e past was better. simple and complex.
it was easier to understand. unlike all. confused by everything u do.
maybe all this comes in a package when u r growing up.
u cannot grow older each year w/o maturing. i could be ignorant about eveyrthing. now tt stand no longer applies.
i hate e complications & situations i have to face as i grow up.
it gets more knotty w/ each passing year. i dont want that.
why things cant stay e way they were? werent things better then?
i wonder to myself why. could it be something i did or said wrong tt caused such a vast change in u?
if it was true, i really didnt mean it. im sorry.
but i think there's a more reasonable explanation to all this.
i never knew u long enough to judge u, for me to realise ur true colours.
its all coming back now. e picture is so clear now.
it has always been this lucid yet i nv paid much attention to it.
i was innocent then.believed eveyrthing and tt our friendship was genuine.i was blinded by our friendship.
maybe i see e importance of friendship to the highest degree tt i could not see person tt lies within u.
sometimes situations cause us to make decisions tt we never wanted to encounter but it leaves us w/ no choice.
losing u as a friend will never be an option, much less considering it.
e most wise decision now is to take things as it goes.
well, if u take me forgranted. ill just stop hangin out so much w ya.
efforts to revive tt once beautiful friendship has gone to waste. it was not appeciated nor treasured.
u threw away tt opportunity i gave u.
disappointed. tts how u left me feeling.

ps: this entry does not apply to a particular person. it concerns a few friends who have no longer regarded my friendship w 'em as something to hold on to.

psps: if u think tt i might be referring to u and it concerns u, pls do get back to me. a clarification.

pspsps: for e rest of u, every friendship is important to me. even simple little thigns u do affect me. i love u guys. thanx for being there when i needed comfort n support. i may not call u or ask u out as often, but u guys do mean something to me. bestest friends we may not be, but ill always be there for u no matter what. ;p

A meaningful poem by courtesy of my lovely cousin..
it was written by a terminally ill young girl in a new york hospital and sent by a doctor.


SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground ?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"hi"

You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
Yo u miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over

-END-

a special little girl who will soon leave this world as she has cancer.
This little girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish,
She wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live
their life to the fullest, since she never will.
She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high
school, or get married and have a family of her own.


the lass reminisces at 11:01:00 PM [comment]

she is falling low.find her escape.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

mistaken identity

was walking down e streets of orchard road when someone called me BITCH fr behind.
thot it was just someone swearing away. den e name-callin continued.
turned around. it was this really typical-girl's-school-girl who was behind.
she gave me this stare. i was like H-E-L-L-O...do i even know u?
then said, what r u looking at? i just gave her this watever look n ignored it.
she continued to bitch about me like she's got no life n there's nothing she has to say.
to my surprise, she mentioned Hendrix. yep.
and i think she had mistaken me for someone else coz i dun behave liek a slut nor do i give or say suggestive things.
besides, my boyfriend's ALWAYS around.
somehow..i think i know who tt gal was referring to. thou im very sure bout it.
i mean who else gets mistaken as me? (no pun intented)
am i really tt sulty n bitchy? or issit just a mistaken identity?
so tell me, what do u think of me?

Are You Happy Now?

now dont just walk away pretending everythings ok and you dont care about me.

and i know its just no use when all your lies become your truths and i dont care yeah yeah yeah.

could you look me in the eyes and tell me that your happy now ohh oh oh oh.
would you tell it to my face or have i been erased are you happy now
are you happy now.

you took all there was to take and left me with an empty plate and you dont care about it yeah.
and i am giving up this game and leaving you with all the blame cause i dont care yeah yeah yeah.

chorus......

do you really have everything you want
you could never give something you regret
you cant run away from yourself.

could you look me in the eyes and tell me that your happy now yeah yeah.
come on tell it to my face or have i been replaced are you happy now


The irresistible taste of Cherry Coke! You're the
life of the party, and a refreshing change from
the norm. Your friends love you for your high
spirits, zany antics, and your willingness to
do just about anything to have a little fun.
Sweet and crazy, you're loved by many...but be
careful that your silly ways don't over-stay
their welcome. Until then, however, keep
laughing and keep entertaining us - we need
someone to keep us on our toes!


What Flavor of Pop Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Raver Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


the lass reminisces at 1:20:00 AM [comment]

she is falling low.find her escape.

so FOOKED UP...

been a bad week now.
blogger totaly sucks. my entries were erased halfway.
yea. u know how tt totally sucks. typing halyway, or even ending, then it just jams n blurs out.
bleah. so fustrating. cant even shout or rant at e comp.
just spent my day sulking at it.
trust me i was throwin my temper at e comp n gave it a glare.
hah. silly me. but well, we all do silly things sometimes. =p
decided tt this 'i feel lousy again today' feeling has to stop. n today is e day.
its not easy to start a new day afresh when e past few ones have been totally down
and u bring yesterday's sadness along w/ u today.
well, took quite a while before i decided to 'forgive' blogger. heh.
told myself: blogger, u're very stupid n dumb n inconsiderate too. but i will forgive u coz' im not u.
yea. tt did e trick. pathetic. heh. i dont care.

Clubbed on friday. again.
nicole, of all places, was at home, ON A FRIDAY.
hard to believe but true. a star for u nikki baby.
i violated my 'no clubbing when sch reopens' rule. again.
self-control, jann! self-control!
temptation. real bad devil. yea. it really is
hmmm...temptation gets me into all sorts of bad stuff.
binging, clubbing, smoking, drinking, etc. -shakes head-
wonder what happened to e 'im in control, hah!' me.
buried under netherlands i guess.
it wasnt happening. hendrix is starting to die down.
e atmosphere is no longer there. maybe its because of e music.
maybe becoz im sick of e place. maybe its becoz it wasnt what it used to be, me w/ my gals and having fun.
prob its becoz everything's changed. clubbing used to be FUN.
friends who were once so involved in my life have now disappeared, leaving only their footsteps here.
pity. friendship is of high importance to me yet some ppl just throw it away w/o thinking twice.
friday. it was our 4th month anniversary. tho' it felt like e 5th.
i felt like we were an old couple. maybe becoz we dated quite some time.
i wasnt as excited and enthusiastic than when i was e 1st time round.
well. e first is always e most special month =p but e excitement starts to wear off sometime.
had dinner at Nooch. yep, finally. e food was good. didnt mind paying for it.
met cuzzie tina there too. e table next to us. to think i didnt notice her till she msged me.
she thot i was a filo who was trying to impersonate a hiphopper!! -_-
how insulting. stupid woman. but she's nice.
justin was extremely shy. as usual. bleah.
btw, our outfits were all-gone-wrong. justin dressed formal n me, hiphop. heh.
we looked weird walking together. i mean VERY.
off to ps. met nicole, joyce and cammie. they had their dinner.
then baby n i headed to hendrix. it wasnt very crowded.
just a small number of familiar faces.
my podium gals were nt there. it felt empty.
got really high..but...didnt puke =p
had supper as usual. at shah alam. they said they had no more plaster pratas!
but i saw e eggs!! liars. bleah. settled for a nasi goreng instead. mutton in my food again..yuck!
headed home. talk online to baby. was really dead bushed. fell asleep at my comp. heh.

there were big plans for saturday. but yet again, they changed.
eveyrone had their own plans. was suppose to meet nic in town. but she decided last min she'd rather stay at home.
n i was already out!!! ended up at esplanade. met e guys.
saw e long queue at embassy. met a lot of old peepz. nice seeing em again.
baby decided to give embassy a go n accompanied me instead.
i ruined his day. he was looking forward to a great night and i had him missing it becoz of me.
he paid for e tix in advance. 25 bucks. n didnt step in.
man, guilt is spelt all over my forehead. sweet of him.
went over to marina. met our dearest Karen n Kevin darlings.
we drank. obviously i was getting very high. due to e hangover i was experiencing fr e previous day n lack of sleep.
u do get high easily if ure tired.
they were so cute.. taking pics n all. kevin was at his nonsense again. heh.
was late. they both headed home. i headed to baby's place.
it felt kinda weird. coz it was sometime since i went over.

had a really difficult time getting outta bed. i missed those peaceful sleeps.
urgh. but had to go over to stc for e funfair thingy.
met halim, his friend and cuzzy.
his cousin didnt look bit like him. hah.
his friend brendan looked very familiar... like his my friend's friend.
going straight there was a real bad idea.
e funfair was in e field which was extremely muddy.
yep. got my new heels all covered in mud, my feet n jeans as well.
didnt get to visit nicole's class's haunted hse. coz e queue was fucking long.
saw dilip n chris. n pls, dilip u look awful w/ pink hair. doesnt chris think so too?
we left early.
had dinner w/ family at e chicken rice stall. yummy!
but i was so sleepy i almost fell asleep eating. heh.
thank god we got home early.



the lass reminisces at 12:46:00 AM [comment]

she is falling low.find her escape.