Saturday, July 12, 2003

gettin.in.touch.w.me

Have u ever felt like ppl u used to know have become strangers?
Once so happy friends, but not anymore? Something we shared have now turned into worthless ashes?
A change as time passes by. tts what all experience.
people change. everyone, u, so do i. for e better or for e worst.
i noticed people close to me, mainly friends, have now become unfamiliar to me.
most of them changed drastically, bad i'd comment.

close friends wld know how much i treasure friendships n e level of closeness i have w/ em. to me, friendships last a lifetime, longer than e many bgrs i had.
my life wld be a total silent one should my friendships end. they bring peace, joy, sadness and happiness to me.

taken forgranted, betrayed, made used of. tts how i describe what i've been put thru'. A change is inevitable. this group of certain ppl have upset me quite a bit. nothing has been said nor done, but secretly in me builds up e sadness n hurt.
u may nt have noticed it becoz i still treat u e same as when i first knew u but it does affect me. am i not good enough a friend for u to treasure
n love? mayb im nt. but i do try my best to be what u guys want me to b. to b there for u, to give encouragement, to care for. ive done my best. have u? it makes wonder how much does it take for u to give me e same
respect n love i have for u. confirmationw/ myself? nothing i conclude.

maybe new friends can easily b replaced by new ones. i dunno. i hope u know ur priorities coz i know mine well.

get thru to me. always ur friend.

the lass reminisces at 3:24:00 AM [comment]

she is falling low.find her escape.

Escape.for.my thots.

Gracie sayang just went home. she'll be over when she's done.
angie's still hoggin da bed.

what a hangoutw/ my gals.
gracie dearest n angie baby were over.
it felt like good ol times. those were the days yea.
slumber party n over-nights.
we talked n crapped then fell asleep.
my two lil angels looked so sweet ;p
it would be fantabulous to have such frenz for eternity.
all of us sqeeuzed into da cramped toilet as we washed up.
we were supposed to bunk in my room
Unfortunately, e most yucky, shameless, disgustin person i despise most stayed over at my place. wosrt still, ON MY BED!
yes, henry , my mom's so-called admirer --tts who we're referrin to here. most of u may have heared me mentionin bout him. yes, he's back again.
how can thr be such an unshamed person, who is separated fr his wife n has a son, to stay over at a widow's hse? where's his sense of dignity?...oops i forgot. he hasnt got one.
so much for tryin to fit into e family. sorry. wrong move.
exhibit ur abilities for sweet-talk on some other naive women, not my mom. excuse me.
n pls ur gilb tongue DOES NOT apply on my siblings nor me.
be pretendin to b all fatherly when u cldnt keep ur own family together.
take over daddy's place? fat hope unless u can stop me fr bein disgusted at e sight of u.
com on pls...ur nearin ur 60s. bleah. its sick u send those sweet nothings to mom..makes me puke!
n for gods sake, she's made herself clear enough. ure nothing more than a friend! getti?
benig lonely is no excuse to stay over at OUR hse, MY house! where have u been lodging b4 mom came along?
mom is kind-hearted, but pls u aint fooling me. pretendin to be drunk n all.
if u cant hold ur liqour well, den dun drink in the first place. save tt money to rent a place to stay!
u arent even least bit embarrassed comin over so often. do u need an idiot's guidebook to 'getting my principles right' n 'how to stop annoying my cursh's children' ? ure lamer than i thot.
we never liked u in e first place, n i hope u didnt think we'd change our judgement.
get out of e picture asap, so i can still have a happy family even thou daddy is no longer ard.
i'd appreciate if u cld just fuck off n go straighten out things w/ ur own family!
n becoz of u, i have no choice but to get a new mattress now as ur abysmal wrongdoings have stained my bed.

journey home from hendrix was truly a disaster.
damn e taxi driver. if only i rem-ed his num plate!
isnt e customer always right? no matter how young i am, u have no fucking right to tell me which way i should wish to take, coz im e one whose fucking
payin u money to earn e rice bowl, FUCK!
i dont care if u're an old man, u should be thankful i did not use any vulgarities.
bah.. e taxi driver got me n angie fuming. gracie cldnt be bothered w/ his irritating comments.
oh well, may he b retrenched soon -hehe-
yes im evil, but WHO CARES?

Id have to tell ya this. clubbing was fantabuloustic. what a night!
there was e groove. e crowd was good, e music was bangin. best of all, hail to e alcohol!
gotta thanx steph's bf for tt. yes he's e bartender. he was mixing e drinks strong. power!
of coz, our birthday gal, Fiza, too. 16 honey! -huggles-
go slow on e alcohol thou babes. hehe.
hella lotsa hotties. if only i had a few pair more of eyes..darn!
loads of touchy-feely perverts. bad bad karma.
all was good thou.
something disgusting n torturing to e eyes happened. however, its over now.
once again, dominating e podium w/ my gals. hehe.
i was mad last night, dancin like nobody's business.
n pls nicole, he may be a loser but he's still a cutie. hah!
plenty of drinks. happy to c darlings halim, cammie, selina n bryan.
baby nicole came later. it was good. havent clubbed w/ u in a long time.
danced w/ baby. it was sweet.

had supper at golden cafe.
everyone recovered from their highness except shaun. hehe.
he was blabberin nonsense. funny as always.
eveyrone went home. baby, me, gracie, nicolas n angie went over to e riverside n sat there till morning.
den we 3 gals took a cab to my place. n baby n nic went home.

by the way, i just rememebred gracie n i have e same surname. hehe!

Girl if I told you I love you
That doesn't mean that I don't care, oooh
And when I tell you I need you
Don't you think that I'll never be there, ooooh

Baby I'm so tired of the way you turn my words into
Deception and lies
Don't misunderstand me when I try to speak my mind
I'm only saying what's in my heart

Cupid doesn't lie
But you won't know unless you give it a try
Oh baby, true love
won't lie but we won't know unless we give it a try
give it a try

Girl when I ask you to trust me
That doesn't mean that I'm gonna cheat on you
Cuz I'm gonna never do anything to hurt you
Or mislead you, I love you

[Repeat 1]
[Repeat 2]

Ain't no doubt about it
Lord no, I really mean it
I rather die before, before I lie to you
Never wanna leave ya
Ain't no life without you
Never gonna leave, never gonna go, no
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, ohhhh





the lass reminisces at 3:00:00 AM [comment]

she is falling low.find her escape.

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

Life - bullshit n crap seemingly beautiful

in sch now. bloggin from da comp.
my classmates r havin lessons n i dont take da subj.
so here i am.
woke up from my 40min sleep. damn tired. shagged.
its gonna be a borin day.
hopefully i survive today n tmr is party time!
fiza's birthday....gonna celebrate it.

broke a pair of shoes..yummy.
thou' i wanted to get da other pair of heels too.
i'll psyco my mom -evil laughter-
we're havin a sweet party in class...
what the different types of sweets. ;p

sigh. im growin n everyone has noticed tt. -pouts-
bleahz. stuffin my face everyday...w/ fattenin food.
gotta start my exercise soon.
im too concious about my weight n looks.
but dont worry..i wont go anorexic. hehe ;p

a thought crossed my mind.
another perpective on friendship.



the lass reminisces at 6:15:00 PM [comment]

she is falling low.find her escape.

Affairs of the heart

hectic week, packed w/ projs, homewrk, tuition wk, remedials, revision.
tightly stuffed into a tuna can. out of breath n suffocatin.
well, its nt enough yet. obviously, how much will it take me?
mayb some attractive rewards. perhaps branded goods.
gucci heels? omea watches? tiffany jewelleries? -yummy-
man. been tryin to keep awake thru sch. tough. honestly.
so much on my mind. yet so little space to open up.
this is da best way i concluded.

issues, issues, issues. here n there.they just cant stop.
whats da matter with these ppl? isnt life stressful enough?
a lost phone last year was enough to drain away my 'life is fair'
worst still. fucking chee byes of a hoe a.k.a 'good friends' actually backstabbed me behind my back. politics. hypocrites. two-faced punks. u guys should check out da physical fitness chart to check what is healthy instead of starvin urself. dumb asses w/ skin left only, trust me ur wrinkly complexion isnt gonna attraction any guys, except for some despos like u-know-who. oh ya, pls get a proper vibrator, instead of usin ur hp. u may lose ur phone or get urself electrocuted. worse, u may spoil ur phone coz its not wtaer-resistant. bleaz. get a life.

life is precious.
read da news on those two iranian twins. sad case.
politics again. should they have gone w/ da operations?
riskin their lives was a wrong decision?
whatever it is, i think everyone should fight for their own freedom.
its their own free will. it's truly saddening we have lost htem. but dont despair,
this is what they chose.

reality check.
how many people will be cryin over me if i vanished from this world?
i figured less than a handful. how many people would actually get upset tt im gone?
someone who has nt left any impact on their lives.
even so, i will miss u guys even if nt vice versa.
its very selfish of me, to expect everyone whom i love to love me back.
nt everyone can return u with what u've given them.
expection only makes disappointment seem greater.
its very true tt everyone loves em'selves more than anyone.
id keep da best for myself, before considerin others. its natural.
even sacrifice doesnt stand in true friendship, what more acquintances?
ive been sacrificial to many, but i still get betrayed n all.
like they say, 'its never nt worth it bein a good person, since they dun get rewarded.'
maybe its time to be mean. but it feels weird. hah.

love. define it?
no love really exists. its either a long-term infatuation or we're possessed by this thing called hallucination.
well, i define my feelings for my bf 'like very much'.
mayb im startin to lose steam.
things r gettin borin. i dont make a good gf n i've always admitted tt.
ppl think im a 'playa' , if only.
to me, a relationship is simple. things dont work out, move on.
nothing to hold back on. life goes on. doesnt it after every bgr ends?
it takes time, yes. but u'll recover. time heals everything. remember?
da only thing near to love before me, is what mom n dad shared.
da willingness to sacrifice everything for each other, to laUgh n cry together, not to complain when there's trouble.
tt's sweet. but its upsetting dad is no longer ard.
for tt, mom has to turn to other things like social, leisure.

nicole n i have been discussin certain issues.its good talkin to her.
thanx sweety. such a sweetheart.




the lass reminisces at 8:26:00 AM [comment]

she is falling low.find her escape.

Monday, July 07, 2003

Good taste
Of cool beauty
cares for its looks and condition
good taste
tends to egoism
makes life as comfortable as possible
leads reasonable
disciplined life
looks for kindness
an emotional partner and acknowledgment
dreams of unusual lovers
is seldom happy with her feelings
mistrusts most people
is never sure of its decisions
very conscientious.

good taste? have to agree . hah!
hmm...i am very concious of myself.
yea. i do need some bounce to my ego at times. who doesnt?
well..i dun really make life as comfortable. but i seek tt.
im nv in agreement w/ my own emotions. mayb tts y im nv happy.
i tend to mistrust ppl...coz im naive. so im more protective of myself.once bitten twice shy.
im fickle....u guys know it!


the lass reminisces at 6:51:00 AM [comment]

she is falling low.find her escape.